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19 May

I got a memory foam mattress if you are trying to chill.

When she arrives home she figures it out, goes next door, to the monastery where the monks live, opens the door interrupting the monks at dinner and shouts: “Alright, which one of you bastards has been wanking off on the church candle?

a girl in 1912 has her naked body drawn in a sketchbook by a random dude that no one’s ever heard of, locks the drawing in a safe on a boat, the BOAT SINKS, and her nude picture STILL ends upon television 84 years later.

Just as if I was preparing for an exam, I wrote succinct notes on every great line or piece of advice in those thousands of posts ,which then became my Tinder cheat-sheet.

Above average brains, below average height, pretty average penis.

I want to laugh and have flirty banter with you but if you send “Hey” I’m probably just going to ignore you.

Seriously, download it like right now.” — Mandy Click Here to Download the Cheat Sheet I’m all of like two feet tall.

If you’re wondering why I’m so funny, it’s because I used to be fat.

And I’ve already failed all my exams sooooo You can use me to get to my mom.

I read as many pages as I could after work, long into the night, and finally finished reading the thread after one whole week.

A great bio may help your Tinder results slightly, but a poor bio will definitely devastate any chance of success.

I prefer women who talk a lot about their ex and a love for bootyliciousness.

The only reason she sucks your d*ck is because her mom told her to appreciate the little things in life.

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